the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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