Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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