I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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