I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't turn off my feet"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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