I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
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Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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