I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize