Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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