I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize