I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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