Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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