i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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