i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize