she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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