You're my little dorito
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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