Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
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Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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