what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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