His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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