i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
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I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
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Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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