Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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