I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize