Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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