I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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