took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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