Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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