i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize