went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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