walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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