what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize