I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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