Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize