was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize