I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You're a waste of cheezeits
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize