he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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