I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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