apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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