dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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