still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize