It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
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there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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