who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize