when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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