Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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