She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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