There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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