Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No subtext here. People are naked.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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