Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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