Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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