i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize