Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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