her vagina looked like bernie madoff
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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