I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize